My story

If it takes an hour to find a picture of you smiling and it was taken 6 months ago and screenshot from a video your not living your life right and need to make changes I was unhappy for too long and masked it with copious amounts of drink and drugs 50% of even that smile was down to the shit coursing through my veins and that's not healthy. I let go of alot of pent up negative energy last week and I can't wait to be ready to be in pictures genuinely smiling again. Parties are fine but every day for 2 years to cope with 5 years of bad stress and some issues going back to child hood isnt ok. You need to deal with things in the proper manner as soon as you can and not let them fester till they poison the positive aspects of your life that make you truly happy and ruin them too. I bit off far more than I could chew at a young age because I felt I had something to prove to the world. I didnt cope with the things that made me take that approach or the stress of trying to run multiple high maintenance businesses and still to scared to ask for help it everything as hard as I could for as long as I could im whisky in the coffee in the morning to get me out of bed bad. Iv been as high as its possible to be not always from drugs but always on them. I hurt for ages over stuff from years ago and let my past ruin my present but I wont let it ruin my future I was a mess and when I finally found someone that loved me unconditionally I left her feeling cheated on and rightly so she never got over it and when we broke up on my birthday I couldnt take it didnt sleep or eat for 4 days then tried to kill myself last week I never thought it could happen to me but it did and if it can happen to me it can happen to you Id fucked over and stepped on so many people to get where I felt I needed to be due to a fuck the world attitude some who cared about me I thought id lost those that cared about me but my brother and my friends saved my life and others id wronged some recently some not so all rallied round when they heard I thought nothing hurt more than being cheated on but I was wrong seeing the damage you cause by betraying the trust of and hurting those you love is worse. Dont do it.